Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Facts about Mohan

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Mohan can piss his name into concrete.

Mohanz calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Mohan

Mohan once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Mohanz tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Mohan counted to infinity - twice.

Mohan was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Mohan can speak braille.

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Mohanz sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Mohan owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

If you spell Mohan wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Mohan?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Mohan puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

On a high school math test, Mohan put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Mohan solves all his problems with Violence.

Mohan can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Mohan can delete the Recycling Bin.

Superman owns a pair of Mohan pajamas.

Mohan can slam revolving doors.

Giraffes were created when Mohan uppercutted a horse.

Mohan sleeps with a night light. Not because Mohan is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Mohan

Mohan sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Mohan roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Mohan can kill two stones with one bird.

Bill G8s libs in constant fear dan Mohanz PC wil crash

Mohan doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Mohan.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Mohan can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

Mohan can drown a fish.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Mohan and forgot to pay him back.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Mohan could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Mnaky sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with his eyes open, and he looks pissed off.

Circles exist because Mohan beat the crap out of some squares.

All of Mohanz genes are dominant.

Only once has Mohan ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah.

On the sixth day, God said, "let there never be Mohan." On the seventh day, God was in the hospital.

As Mohan approaches zero, zero runs like a little bitch.

Mohan is the SI unit used to measure phear.

Getting murdered by Mohan counts as a natural cause of death.

Mohan irons his shirts while he's wearing them.

Mohan is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.

There is intelligent life in the universe, but they have not contacted Earth because they are avoiding Mohan. They owe him $5.

Mohan can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Peace, Yo!

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