LoSErkut

sumtymes i wish orkut wasnt so full of lozers...here r a list of da losers in no particular order ..

R0HIT!!!!!!!!!!! S@T@N is @fraid of me~~
DAS ME ON MAH 15 TH BDAY................d photo was taken at 2 o clock jus take a look at mah eyes im dead drunk!!!!!!!!!!!





Lets analyze sum facts of lyf:
1. Rohit aint da best lookin guy i hav seen
2. Wen ur drunk, ur looks do NOT significantly improve
3. Trust me, wen rohit iz drunk...his lookd defin8ly DONT improve..
4. Hell no....

Keeping da above thoughts in mynd...certain thoughts cum 2 mind:
1. y does rohit insist on polluting da net wit pix of himself?
2. y does rohit insist dat he'z drunk? first of all, rohit is in da same shirt in da next picture..n hez wit his family. i dun thnk rohit iz depraved enuf 2 be drunk wit hiz family. Secondly, if u clik here, u will see dat da camera clearly shows "8:14 PM" as da tym..n not 2 AM....man, sum ppl hav srs lak in lyf...

Avik "not ready totally 4 icse"
"Not ready totally 4 icse"
*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! Brainfcuk!!!*
*I jus lost 42000 brain cells after readin dat sentence*
wat does not ready totally ready mean??? wud it kill avik 2 read a lil bit of english b4 cumin on2 orkut???
His previous taglynes hav included:
-> Avik "takes lyf eazy"....oh yeah? so does evry oda luza ive eva made..wat makes u so spcl?
-> Avik "kidnapper (girl's heart)... im sorta confused abt dis...hw can a girl's heart kidnap a full grown 16 yr old kid? i mean, jus imagine da logistix involved..a heart..a tiny object da size of sum1's fist, dat doesnt even hav any hands or legs..pullin a 60 kg object??? i rly dun thnk dats possible..but f da gr8 avik sez its possible..den prolly it is..
-> Avik "not totally ready 4 icse"....oh yeah..go STUD...anagrams rock..dont dey?

|)E|3|\/|@|_Y@ |)|_|TT@
HUH? Do u spk english??? i rly dun get y ppl think dat wr8n dere name in weird non-alfanumeric charakters makes dem 'kool'..spelling intended....half da guys hu wr8 dere names lyk dis r actually illiter8..i mean do dey even kno dat dis language axully has a name?? yeah..it's called 1337(wat els?)....of course trying 2 figure wat dat means wud prolly take mr. datta a lyftym..so i wud nt recommend dat he go on a fact-fynding trip on dis....

By da way, hav u cn his dp? sum1 giv dis guy a glass of isabgol..maan he luks constipated....but of course, dis aint half as mad as debmalya iz gonna b wen he fgures out da meaning of dis post...but u kno wat? im nt worried..after ol, dis post is written in english..by da tym he undastands it..he'll prolly be 92 yrs old...gud luk dyud..n god speed...


Raunak Mehta
Huh? W T F? Raunak Mehta haz a picture of Emraan Hashmi? Can sum1 plz tell me wat character traits he has in common wit Mr. Emraan Hashmi???
Oh Yah, Dats Ryt...NONE!!! Y on earth is Raunka mehta on9????
More 2 da Point...HOW is Raunak Mehta on9? A person wit a -ve IQ shud not be allowed 2 cum within 600 yards of a computer!!! y is he on orkut????
n..PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAZ!!! 4 da luv of humanity..change da pic...man... wer did u score dis pic? Dhapa? man, dis pic is pure visual pollution...Insted of banning da buk fair..maybe da hi court shud turn its attnshun 2 Raunak Mehta..aka..Aukad Bhai...


Dis aint ova...der r more ppl hu r pollutin orkut...2 b continued...
Peace, Yo!

nuz dat u cant uze

y da kewl skewl iz kewler dan evry oda skewl:
In every oda skewl, da 'stud'ents try 2 get mor mrks/mor certific8s/mor merits dan der fellow ishtudents....in da kewl skewl...ppl boast of hw many chapters day hav left 4 da test, hw many remarks dey hav got 4m da princi, n hw many fests dey hav attended afta bunkin skewl..njoi:

Test studying algorithn:
-> start
-> necessary 2 study
-> if no, watch TV
-> if yes, open buk 4 1st tym
-> if buk not found, watch TV
-> if buk found, (bummer), calculate no. of chaps 2 study by dis 4mula:
-> no. of chaps to be studied = x/y*0 where, x n y r arbitrary values...
-> go2 skewl, n do keo
-> end
I c ur rollin ur eyes n sayin: dis happens in every skewl...ol da kids say dey havent studied, n den dey get >90%....well da diff in da kewl skewl is dat da STUDENTS AXULLY FOLLO DA ALGORITHM....eg:

• b4 histry test: "aajke kota chapter ache?" ... "10" ..."tai naki? kalke toh 5ta chilo..."..." 5 chaps without takin civix"..."Aajke civix thori ache? aaj toh histry xam.."
• b4 lit test: (brandishin 10 yrs paper) "Ami ekhan theke porechi...."...."Taholey story aar poem kotheke korli?"..."janina..hope korchi anita desai aar JC tei pass korbo"
• 10 mins b4 chemistry test: (brandishin anita prasad).."Organic kemstry shuru korbo bhabchi"
• b4 EVE test: "kalke porar iche chilo naa....tai Home science porlam.."...."Home sciencer boi peli kottheke?"...(brandishin 10 yrs question paper) "Ei to! ol purpose boi"
• after moral science test: "ol answers in decimal form!"
• after geography test: " Sec c was optional ryt? Ami toh chere dilam...ekta parter answer jantam shudu..i hope part marking ache..ish industries r agriculture dutoi chara uchit chilo na"
• after ENG I test!!!: "yaar, comprehension samajh me nahi aya...yeh 'Sontal' kya cheez hai?"...."sontal matlab tribal"..."kya baat kar rahe ho? mai toh likh diya sontal author ka naam hai.."
• b4 histry test: stud 1: "Kono kotha hobe na..ami duto chapter porechi!"
• stud 2: "Tai? Ami toh 10 yrs paper porechi!"
• stud 3: "Tai? Ami 97-2000er paper porechi..unsolvd!!!"
• stud 4: "Tora ki bolchish? Ami kal 11 o clock boi kinlam. Ei dekh..notun boi"

Discussion abt marks:

• Stud 1: "Ami EVE 14/50!!!"
• Stud 2: "Ami Chmeistry 19.5/80!"
• Stud 3: "Ami EVE..9/80!"
• Stud 4: "Ami Computer...binary marks!"

Discussion abt goin 2 fests:

• 1 :"Ami 3 shoptay 4 tey festey gechi"
• 2 :"Ami 2nd termey 2 bar librarytey gechi...evry oda day fest"
• 3: "Ami 13 bar SUPW projectey gechi..."
• evry1 2geda: "No phucahaar!!!"

Peace, Yo!

WAT CRAP? PT. 2....(DER WILL B NO MORE)

http://ace.delos.com/spring01.htm ... search 4 'krunch'... dis is y u shudnt mess wit Bosco...USA computing olympiad problems in class 10 selexion xamz...n ppl r solvin dem....
Mah solution:
def main():
p = input("Enter string:")
p = krunch(p)
print p
count(p)

def krunch(string):
string=string.replace('a','')
string=string.replace('e','')
string=string.replace('i','')
string=string.replace('o','')
string=string.replace('u','')
string=string.replace(' ',' ')
return string

def count(string):
string=string.lower()
from array import array
alpha = array('i')
for j in range(0,26):
alpha.append(0)
for ch in string:
if(ch!=' '):
alpha[ord(ch)-ord('a')]+=1
for i in range(0,26):
print "Number of ",(unichr(ord('a')+i)),' : ',alpha[i]

I refuze 2 wr8 dis program in java on da grnds dat it jus isnt worth da kynd of tyme n effort required 2 think of da twisted/crzy logic of java...so try 2 undastand it if u can...python aint dat tuff.. also, i THNK dis is da most efficient solushun..but im sure der r a few tweaks dat can b applied, but im jus sik of dis prog... n btw, dis is da last prog im solvin... i am NOT doin da rest of da progs..no matter how hard u beg me..
Peace, Yo!

WAT SORTA PROGRAMS R WE GETTIN????

ol bosco comp app studs chk dis out:

http://oldweb.uwp.edu/academic/mathematics/usaco/2002/spring/problems.htm

Mah solution:
import java.io.*;
class Translate
{
public static void main() throws IOException
{
int sum=0;
BufferedReader br = new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(System.in));
for(int i=0;i<6;i++)
{
System.out.print("Enter "+(i+1)+"th calf number: ");
sum+=translateIntoNormal(br.readLine());
}
System.out.println("Sum = "+translateIntoCalf(sum));
}

private static int translateIntoNormal(String calfNumber)
{
StringBuffer number = new StringBuffer();
StringBuffer calf = new StringBuffer(calfNumber);
for(int i=0;i {
if(calf.charAt(i)==' ')
{
i--;
continue;
}
switch(calf.charAt(i))
{
case 'n': number.append(0); break;
case 'p': number.append(1); break;
case 'r': number.append(2); break;
case 'c': number.append(3); break;
case 'v': number.append(4); break;
case 'm': number.append(5); break;
case 'x': number.append(6); break;
case 'z': number.append(7); break;
case 'b': number.append(8); break;
case 's': number.append(9); break;
}
}
return Integer.parseInt(number.toString());
}

private static StringBuffer translateIntoCalf(int number)
{
StringBuffer calfNumber = new StringBuffer();
while( number>0)
{
calfNumber = calfNumber.insert(0,translate(number%10));
number/=10;
}
return calfNumber;
}

private static String translate(int digit)
{
switch (digit)
{
case 0: return "no";
case 1: return "pa";
case 2: return "re";
case 3: return "ci";
case 4: return "vo";
case 5: return "mu";
case 6: return "xa";
case 7: return "ze";
case 8: return "bi";
case 9: return "so";
default: return "";
}
}
}

n u kno wats scary? i thnk dis is da most efficient solution!!!!
Peace, Yo!

Rant

hueva sed 2 wrongs dont make a ryt was wrong...i remebr i gave a test in which i had 2 fynd out sumthin rel8d 2 electricity n oda stuff...so i used da left hand rule.. thing was i din kno da left hand rule..so i tried 2 deryve it uzing da eraser @ da end of my pencil, sum plain guessing n a lot of hall-collexion (dun ask), i still messed up da mag. field n da current..but, i stil got dat sum correct!! hw, u ask? well, it turns out i had 2 use ryt hand rule 2 fynd out da 4ce!!! so, in da end, mah messed up left hand rule actually gave da correct anser! It myt be argued dat der was a lot more dan 2 wrongs here..(derivation uzin eraser @ da end of mah pencil, hall-collexion, smelly sox...etc.) but 2 dat i say: apply middle finger rule!

Star Wars: Yday, i watched da return of da jedi...n i mus say, it suked!!! i mean, da movie is 20 yrs old! Sum1 plz spruce up da spcl fx..dey r a joke..luke swiches on his lightsaber..n da beam actually stops halfway while growin 2 its full length..hilarious it was...
1 more thing, if Master Yoda da strongest jedi warrior in da galaxy is, Y hire he does not an english tutor? If live 4 900 years old sum1 does, expected he iz 2 lurn da correct style of speaking english... if sit 4 hundreds of hrs on his green ass he can, surely lurn da structure of da english language he shud!!! It aint dat tuff...look dis is hw it goes:
*subject* *predicate* [Optional Xpletive]
on da oda hand, Master Yoda wud spk it lyk dis:
*beep* *strange bodily function* *gobbledygook* *gibberish* *may da 4ce be wit u!* *beep!*

spkin of beep remynded me of deep...
sum deepy incidents:
cl 9..fy6 test..optix..question is 2 draw da image due 2 a concave lens..deep has no scale..n no borrowing allowed...deep scratches his coconut..n cums up wit da idea:
* Lets assume a scale
* Let -------- equal to 5 cm. (------ is da distance betn his thunb index finger)
* He does da sum wit da assumed scale.
* Teacher takes 1 luk @ it, n gives him zero....n circles da sentence ".. ---- equal 2 5 cm.."

same test..deep tries 2 act smart..tries 2 fynd out da position of da image uzing lens eqn...un4tun8ly, he gets cot whyle doin da sum....lolz
Teach: " Wat r u doin, men?"
Deep: "Tryin 2 fynd out da image"
Teach: "Rub it out or i will giv u 0"
Deep (thnks): "Rub kemon kore korbo? Pen diye korechi to!"
Deep gets an idea...he colours ova da entyr working...if u havent cn deep's handwritin, lemme giv u an idea abt it.... assume an xtremely obese tyranosaurus rex sittin on a couch (i dunno hw) n munchin on a kingsize pizza, on a planet da size of jupiter...den deep's handwr8n wud be slightly larger dan da diameter of sed planet....ne way, after finishin his colorin project deep discovers dat he haz finished almost 3/4th of da page...
Deep: "Sir i need a page."
Teach: "I dont hav another page. Do it on 1 sheet."
Deep: ":o"
sumhw he manages 2 squeeze his drawing in2 da remaining quarter of da page, n keeps his scale da same...even tho da entyr size of his pic wudn't b more dan 5 cm!!! Teacher also circles da drawin n da scale...

anoda day..he asks me n anirban a question abt da gravity of earth...i try 2 xplain it 2 him uzin a diagram...n i tell him 2 draw da earth. Deep draws a large circle...den draws a smaller circle insyde da previous circle, n den puts 2 dots insyd it...makin it a concentric circle with 2 eyes in it... till 2day i do not undastand hw twisted a person's concept has 2 be, 2 imagine earth 2 be a CONCENTRIC circle! after day incident, i hav wysely avoided ol references 2 science wen tokin 2 him....
Peace, Yo!

Da Theory of crow chasing

Wen i was small, i used 2 liv in a small outta da way place in north bengal called Malda..ya u prolly wont fynd it on a map...i remmebr 1 day, in da afternoon, der was a powercut, so i went outside. We lived in a bungalow dat had 3 gardens. In 1 of da gardens, der was a bunch of crows (i think a bunch of crows is called a gang..nt sure). So, i went 2 da garden, n chased da crows...n chased da crows...n chased da crows...it went on..i chased crows for 3 hours dat day.
I mean, it was a joke. I wud run towards crow 1..crow 1 wud ignore me..den as soon as i was about 2 pounce on crow 1..it wud squawk sumthin 2 crow 2, n take off...wat puzzled me was dat after takin off..crow 1 wud cum bak n land 5 metres away..in da meantym, i wud hav tried 2 catch crow 2, n gotten da same reaction 4m crow 2 also..n dis went on...believe me, it was fun...of course i dont xactly understand y a gang of crows wud want a small five-year-old kid with questionable hygiene issues n apparently a less-than-healthy outlook 2wards da general intelligence of crows 2 chase dem arund 4 3 hrs...but den again, ders a lot of things i dun undastand (lyk, y we need traffic signals..only wimps obey traffic signals neway...dun get me started on traffic signals).
Ok, da point of dis story is dis: 2day i went up 2 my terrace n tried 2 replic8 dat xperience...
Here iz wat i found:
1. No garden
2. Terrace is in bad shape....I disowned mah terrace 2day
3. Ders a rusty bathtub(!!!) on mah terrace...plants grow on it...i mean srsly, da bathtub actually has plants growin ON it!!!
4. No crows either...
5. Waited 4 a crow 2 land...
6. 15 mins l8r spotted a crow..chased it...it flew away (bummer)
7. Nex two crows..same thing
8. 4th crow...i decyded 2 use mah superior intellect in order 2 catch dat poor dumb brute...i decyded 2 sneak up on it...crawled on ol fours 2 get near it...un4tun8ly, dis tym crow flew off even b4 i came within 10 feet of it...(Theory of evolution, my foot)
9. Dat's wen i realised....our lives hav grown so complex... earlier i cud jus go out of da house n chase crows 4 3 hrs..n cum bak, hav a snak n watch TV n 4get abt it...nowadays, 2 do dat..i gotta plan 4 it, reshedule 1/2 a dozen tuitions..cum down 2 da house do attend 2 calls..receive jhar 4m parents...n den blog about it...dats sad..
10. Environmental effect on crows: da crows r gettin 2 damn smart...i mean, der i was, ol huddled up n on mah knees, jus ready 2 pounce upon da crow...n wat does da crow do? He flies away!!! Can u imagine da level of ashpordha of da crow...i swear im gonna shoot dat crow down sumday...he made a bad mistake wen he took wing 2day...oh yea...
Peace, Yo!

On da bogusity of fysix n oder important matters...

In da fysix buk, i notice dat it is observed: "a fisherman aims @ de tail of a fish wit his spear in order 2 catch it"...wtf?
1. Hw many fishermen hav u cn armed wit spears? i mean of ol da ways 2 catch fish, a spear iz prolly da most absurd weapon 2 choose...luk @ it 4m da point of view of a monsieur fish...monsiuer fish spends ol his lyfe gulpin polluted water n tryin 2 xtract a lil oxygen 4m it...in addition 2 dat he has 2 avoid being gulped down by monsiuer large fish...suppose m. fish is swimming arnd jus lyk every oder day of his misearble lyf... n he sees our fisherman armed wit a spear aimin 2wards its tail..i mean, given a choice, dontu thnk dat m. fish wud actually do sumthing 2 save its tail? sumthing lyk...i dunno, move 2 cm 2 da syd so dat fishermandyud misses? sheesh..eida fish r very stoopid or im missin a very large part of da eqn here...
2. Da book sez dat da fisherman does dat bcuz its apparent depth is less dan its rl depth...i got a question...wtf?
Its a known fact dat fishermen r generally illiter8...hw on earth did dey read our fy6 buk n find out wer 2 aim on da fish? Even if der is a liter8 fisherman sumwer (hily unlykly), y on urth wud he read a fy6 buk? I can think of loads of buks dat r way mor worthwhyle 2 read..n luk much less ridiculous...If i was an illiter8 fisherman..i wud 1st get rid of mah ridiculus-lookin spear..prolly sell it n buy sum decent lookin clothes..im sure spear-laden fisherman don hav decent clothes...da nex thing i wud do is go mahself a net n get sum1 2 teach me 2 uze it...n den i wud fish...If u ask me, i thnk dat ders a conspiracy betn da fy6 buk publishers n da illiter8 fisherman...i hav bin noticin..nowadays da fish in da market look sorta thin...im sure da fy6 buk publishers r up2 no gud....
3. Nuton had a very large lak in lyf...da buk sez he invented gravity..den he sold hily polished lenses...drew colors on discs..inverted prisms n wat not..i thnk he also cr8d da catflap....frankly im a bit sceptical...i can undastand 1 man inventing gravity...but da same man also invebtin da catflap??? u thnk i am stoopid? srsly, even byelorussian cotton farmers wudnt believe dat...n im suspicious of dese fy6 publishers 4 da fisherman incident neway...so i think selina is tryin 2 take ova da world...
here's wat i believe der plan is:
convince ol da fishermen in da wurld 2 start fishin wit spears...makin dem look ridiculous in da process...consequently, da fish start becoming thinner (im nt sure hw dat works)..slowly da fish thin 2 infinitestimally thination...n den suddenly disappear...den selina cums out n sez dat dey r holdin ol da fish hostage...n demand 2 take ova da world in return 4 da fish....man, im gud....ya, i know..undaappreciated genius..so, long n thnx 4 ol da fish!
Peace, Yo!

Holy Cow! Calves can talk?

Reaxions 2 da comp test:

1. Q: Wat is JVM?
A:"Java Virtual machine is a machine that sits on top of da oder software"

2. Q: Diff. betn Java n oder compilation processes.
A:"Java uses a just in tym compiler....C++ does nt"

3. "Characteristics of OOP: WORA (no full form) n lightw8"...no oder xplanashuns necessary

4. "Ami bhablam je otao print korte hobe!!Tarpor dekhlam je print korte hobe na..tai korlam na..." (Pointing 2 da only part of da program dat was 2 be printed...

5. "Tai to!".... nuff sed

6. "Bubble sorter pass dekhate hobe? Ami toh pogam likhe elam!!!" Khepche gelo..

Since it is now an open secret dat recursive functions are gonna play an 'active' role in da ICSE, here is da definition of recursion....njoi!

'Bogus' Programs

Computer algorithms:

Sorting
~~~~~~~
Random Sort:
RandomSort(int[] array)
{
do
{
array=random_permutation(array)
} while(!isSorted(array))
return array
}
Takes an array...permutates it in a random manner...n chks 2 c if its sorted. If its sorted, returns sorted array...ppl myt say dat dis algorithm will take infinitely long tym 2 xecute....but den again, it cud also return da correct array @ de first try...cudn't it? its ol a matter of perspective....of kourse, if u hav mah perspective on lyf, ur gonna end up wr8in bogus progrramzz


Lucky Sort
LuckySort(int [] array)
{
//Assume array is sorted
return array
}
This is lucky sort...a sort dat is inherently lucky...it is so lucky dat ne array u send it is olredy sorted....if it's not, it's assumed 2 be olredy sorted (ol a matter of perspective)

Bozo Sort
BozoSort(int[] array)
{
do
{
swap(randomElement1,randomElement2)
pray
} while(!isSorted(array))
}
This plucky little fellow...randomly chooses two array elements and then decydes 2 swap dem...4 no apparent reason...den he follows it up wit a little bit of prayin n den checks is da array is sorted...as wit random sort...it CUD giv u da correct array on da 1st try...(perspective)...

Stooge Sort
A terribly nyc sort algorithm that swaps the top and bottom items if needed, then sorts the bottom two-thirds, then the top two-thirds, then the bottom two-thirds again, n if required, does it again, and again, and again....persistent lil bugger.....but outsyd mah computing limits...

Searching
~~~~~~~~~
We hav ol heard of Binary search n linear search...now presenting..

Eyeball Search
EyeballSearch(int[] array, int element)
{
print " what do u think i am? some sort of searching algorithm? Search 4 it urself, u lazy git.."
print '_|_'
}
Axepts an array n an array element 2 be surched 4...den gives user da finger....4ces da user 2 look 4 da element wit one's own optical sensors...on da bryt syd, gets u sum xercyse...
Peace, Yo!

How despo r u? Take our test...

Levels of Desperation:

10. "Dude...Kuch parai nahi hua...im gonna fail dis tym 4 sure.."- No chaap...evry1 sayz dis.. even tho they hav gone thru da syllabus twice and digested da last 10 years papers...even in morals science...

9. "Kal ka test me syllabus kya hai?" - dis dude has a small amount of chaap... even tho hes prolly joking.. of course, if hes ded serious...he's more lykely 2 be ded da next day dan serious....

8. "Aaj ka test me syllabus kya hai?" - large amount of chaap.. even dis dude iz lykly 2 be joking..if hez not...it is de duty of every1 2 do every thing in his/her power 2 help dis guy pass...

7. "aaj ki subject ache?" - Ded screwed....nuff sed...

6. "Wat do u mean der r 10 chapters in 2day's test? yesterday i saw dat der wer 5 chapters...so i studied only...3. Now ur telling me der are 10 chapters?" - Xtreme chaap... da only option 4 dis dyud iz 2 fake sikness n go home...unless s/he has de ability 2 conjure answers 4m de...um...parts wer da sun dont shyne so brytely...

5. B4 Eng II test: "I studied only 4m ten years question paper, I can answer every question."
(Frnds say sumthing)
"Wat do u mean notun syllabus?" - Dis is desper8....

4. Question: Wr8 short note on cold war...
Answer: Da allies stationed fighter planes in german forest clearings 2 counter soviet armour...it is 4tun8 dat da cold war did not become hot...if it did, global warming wud be axelar8d..making it very hot 4 us...in 92, George W. Bush declared dat da cold war had become hot... - I m nt qualified 2 comment on dis answer..

3. "Dyud! I need 2 get more dan 70 on 80 in geografy 2 pass in history n geografy!!!" - Xemplifiez keora instinkt..

2. (After getting question paper) "History? I studied maths!!!" - "Slip kore gelo, cheleta.."

U prolly don think ne1 can xceed da last level of despogiri...but der iz 1 person hu can....

1. Introducing da 1 n only...Mr. Jimmy Valentine, 9763(K)...

Question: British Divide n Rule Policy
Answer: De British ruled India...Dey divided India in2 many provinces...there4, Divide n rule!

Q: Impact of Quit India
A: Da British quit India

Q: Wat compelled congress 2 pass quit india resolution?
A: Dey wanted british 2 quit India...
(More 2 come wen i remember)

Jimmy! I bow 2 Thee!
Peace, Yo!

Da Einer Rant!

1st rant on dis blog....xams r on..so xam rel8d rant:
1. Histry shud be banned: Wen i am president of elbonia..im gonna make histry irrelvant by decreeing da nothing happened in da past...evrythings in da present...dis will hav da pleasant syd-effect of helping out ppl hu r weak in english..no past tense u c. so no chaap about de present phuchaar perfect tense, or past phuchaarlessly imperfect quadratic past tense..only shimple present tense..i xpect sum ppl myt raise a couple of objections abt de nu system not reflecting de march of tym but dey will be taken care of by the allied fiter planes stationed in elbonian forest clearings.
2. Fighter planes in Elbonian forests shud be made a valid placeholder in histry xams..c it works lyk dis..
suppose a student...let student be j (throws J**tXception)
j has studied assume 2 chapters in da whole syllabus...according 2 de ICSE, j shud throw a FailureXception...but in Elbonia, we r nt so un4giving..we believe in 2nd chances...j will be allowed 2 write sum crap abt elbonian fighter planes..n de teacher wud be required 2 b lenient in marking de paper..thus, allowing da student 2 pass....
of kourse, in Elbonia, we also despyse miserable failures...so if j fails 2 pass even den, he shall be booted out of Elbonia wit de rapid administration of large no.-9-sized-boot-kix-on-his (presumably) tender behynd...ol heil de gr8 elbonia!
3. Bangla...da most illogical language in da planet... ICSE gives 8 marks 2 grammar in dis most hily xalted of subjects and den issues a syllabus which is larger dan all de oder three compulsory disciplines of bangla...PUT 2GETHER...!!!! [:o]
Evryoder language worth knowing abt has a uniform system of naming numbers...evry oder natural language has a little-endian system of naming numbers...bigger places implied by da prefix and de units place suplied by the suffix...but of course dis most logical of naming systems is 2 'pati' 4 dis most honourable of languages...de only 1 2 axully uze big-endian naming conventions..resulting in mal4med mutated deformities lyk 'unoshat'...by all axepted conventions dis number shud mean 69 but nien...it means 59...logic behind it? zilchen!!! no logic involved..mebbe dats y our placeholder student j gets star marks in bengali...
Ad 4 Bangla: Now requires less logic dan Windows 3.11!!!!
N dis takes da cake: Bengali translashun 4 'Hot Hing Kachoris Available Here' is 'Ekhane hinger gorom kochuri paowa jay' n NOT 'Ekhane gorom hinger kochuri paowa jay'...
i.e. da hing iz not gorom...but it is commonly observed dat wen hinger kochuri is prepared da hing iz also goromed... but according da bangla theorem..da hing is not hot
if, c=Sp. heat of Hing
then Q= m.c.t
But, no matter hw much u heat de hing, it does not become hot...
there4, c -> ∞
if c -> ∞ (olredy proved), den temp of all hing=0 K...
There4, if u place de hing in contact wit nething in de universe, da hing will take up all da heat 4m da object..eventually da hing will absorb all da energy 4m da universe, making da universe a cold, dark n bleak place....
Since dis hasnt hapened yet, there4, bangla is incorrect...
there4, bangla shud be banned...
Q.E.D.
I rest mah case.
Peace, Yo!