Friday, January 19, 2007

Da Theory of crow chasing

Wen i was small, i used 2 liv in a small outta da way place in north bengal called Malda..ya u prolly wont fynd it on a map...i remmebr 1 day, in da afternoon, der was a powercut, so i went outside. We lived in a bungalow dat had 3 gardens. In 1 of da gardens, der was a bunch of crows (i think a bunch of crows is called a gang..nt sure). So, i went 2 da garden, n chased da crows...n chased da crows...n chased da went on..i chased crows for 3 hours dat day.
I mean, it was a joke. I wud run towards crow 1..crow 1 wud ignore me..den as soon as i was about 2 pounce on crow wud squawk sumthin 2 crow 2, n take off...wat puzzled me was dat after takin off..crow 1 wud cum bak n land 5 metres da meantym, i wud hav tried 2 catch crow 2, n gotten da same reaction 4m crow 2 also..n dis went on...believe me, it was fun...of course i dont xactly understand y a gang of crows wud want a small five-year-old kid with questionable hygiene issues n apparently a less-than-healthy outlook 2wards da general intelligence of crows 2 chase dem arund 4 3 hrs...but den again, ders a lot of things i dun undastand (lyk, y we need traffic signals..only wimps obey traffic signals neway...dun get me started on traffic signals).
Ok, da point of dis story is dis: 2day i went up 2 my terrace n tried 2 replic8 dat xperience...
Here iz wat i found:
1. No garden
2. Terrace is in bad shape....I disowned mah terrace 2day
3. Ders a rusty bathtub(!!!) on mah terrace...plants grow on it...i mean srsly, da bathtub actually has plants growin ON it!!!
4. No crows either...
5. Waited 4 a crow 2 land...
6. 15 mins l8r spotted a crow..chased flew away (bummer)
7. Nex two crows..same thing
8. 4th crow...i decyded 2 use mah superior intellect in order 2 catch dat poor dumb brute...i decyded 2 sneak up on it...crawled on ol fours 2 get near it...un4tun8ly, dis tym crow flew off even b4 i came within 10 feet of it...(Theory of evolution, my foot)
9. Dat's wen i realised....our lives hav grown so complex... earlier i cud jus go out of da house n chase crows 4 3 hrs..n cum bak, hav a snak n watch TV n 4get abt it...nowadays, 2 do dat..i gotta plan 4 it, reshedule 1/2 a dozen tuitions..cum down 2 da house do attend 2 calls..receive jhar 4m parents...n den blog about it...dats sad..
10. Environmental effect on crows: da crows r gettin 2 damn smart...i mean, der i was, ol huddled up n on mah knees, jus ready 2 pounce upon da crow...n wat does da crow do? He flies away!!! Can u imagine da level of ashpordha of da crow...i swear im gonna shoot dat crow down sumday...he made a bad mistake wen he took wing 2day...oh yea...
Peace, Yo!


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