Da Einer Rant!

1st rant on dis blog....xams r on..so xam rel8d rant:
1. Histry shud be banned: Wen i am president of elbonia..im gonna make histry irrelvant by decreeing da nothing happened in da past...evrythings in da present...dis will hav da pleasant syd-effect of helping out ppl hu r weak in english..no past tense u c. so no chaap about de present phuchaar perfect tense, or past phuchaarlessly imperfect quadratic past tense..only shimple present tense..i xpect sum ppl myt raise a couple of objections abt de nu system not reflecting de march of tym but dey will be taken care of by the allied fiter planes stationed in elbonian forest clearings.
2. Fighter planes in Elbonian forests shud be made a valid placeholder in histry xams..c it works lyk dis..
suppose a student...let student be j (throws J**tXception)
j has studied assume 2 chapters in da whole syllabus...according 2 de ICSE, j shud throw a FailureXception...but in Elbonia, we r nt so un4giving..we believe in 2nd chances...j will be allowed 2 write sum crap abt elbonian fighter planes..n de teacher wud be required 2 b lenient in marking de paper..thus, allowing da student 2 pass....
of kourse, in Elbonia, we also despyse miserable failures...so if j fails 2 pass even den, he shall be booted out of Elbonia wit de rapid administration of large no.-9-sized-boot-kix-on-his (presumably) tender behynd...ol heil de gr8 elbonia!
3. Bangla...da most illogical language in da planet... ICSE gives 8 marks 2 grammar in dis most hily xalted of subjects and den issues a syllabus which is larger dan all de oder three compulsory disciplines of bangla...PUT 2GETHER...!!!! [:o]
Evryoder language worth knowing abt has a uniform system of naming numbers...evry oder natural language has a little-endian system of naming numbers...bigger places implied by da prefix and de units place suplied by the suffix...but of course dis most logical of naming systems is 2 'pati' 4 dis most honourable of languages...de only 1 2 axully uze big-endian naming conventions..resulting in mal4med mutated deformities lyk 'unoshat'...by all axepted conventions dis number shud mean 69 but nien...it means 59...logic behind it? zilchen!!! no logic involved..mebbe dats y our placeholder student j gets star marks in bengali...
Ad 4 Bangla: Now requires less logic dan Windows 3.11!!!!
N dis takes da cake: Bengali translashun 4 'Hot Hing Kachoris Available Here' is 'Ekhane hinger gorom kochuri paowa jay' n NOT 'Ekhane gorom hinger kochuri paowa jay'...
i.e. da hing iz not gorom...but it is commonly observed dat wen hinger kochuri is prepared da hing iz also goromed... but according da bangla theorem..da hing is not hot
if, c=Sp. heat of Hing
then Q= m.c.t
But, no matter hw much u heat de hing, it does not become hot...
there4, c -> ∞
if c -> ∞ (olredy proved), den temp of all hing=0 K...
There4, if u place de hing in contact wit nething in de universe, da hing will take up all da heat 4m da object..eventually da hing will absorb all da energy 4m da universe, making da universe a cold, dark n bleak place....
Since dis hasnt hapened yet, there4, bangla is incorrect...
there4, bangla shud be banned...
Q.E.D.
I rest mah case.
Peace, Yo!