Things dat r wrong wit mah comp….

Lessee….

1. Spyke buster (spyke busted da spyke buster…din get it fixed…comps bin running witout spyke buster 4 a year now…spyke buster is now used as a source for parts for sum of my ‘xperiments’)
2. UPS (refer 2 last post)
3. CPU
1. Hard disk axess lyt is intermittent…it knos morse code…it kips on blinking on n off…eben tho der is no activity goin on…
2. RAM – 128 MB…8mb shared wit video card…nuff sed…oh n btw, DDR RAM…not DDR2….it wasn’t invented wen mah comp was built….go figure
3. USB ports…*teknikally* I hab 4 USB ports..in reality I hab 2 ports…on da oder hands da devices in my haus dat require USB axess:

i. Digicam

ii. Webcam

iii. Mom’s fone

iv. Dad’s fone

v. Printer

vi. Mous

vii. Broadband modem

So, as u can well imagine…a large part of mah computing day is spent kneelin bhynd da CPU, swiching devyces in n out of ports…oh n did I mention, da CPU’s urth connexion is not very gud?…so ummm….certain parts of body do develop a potential differens betn da cabinet n da ground…da potential differens effectively gets nyutralized thru da least resistant path…i.e. my torso…my father beliebes dat its gud 4 helth as I get recharged by da shok…2 dat I can only say, “wat sorta god 4saken devyc needs 2 get recharged 2wyc daily??? N dat too at 220 volts AC???”

d. Fan – hab u cn mah PC fan? If u habnt lemme gib u a brief descripshun…

HISTORIKAL BAKGRND

Circa 1960 A.D….locashun: Xerox Parc … sum bored byurokraik pencil pusher notes dat da ENIAC 3 machine is getting rather hot for smooth operations..he has a brlnt bren wave (instead of just a brnlt wave…wch is sumthing he was desper8ly in need of)…putting a fan insyd da computer room 2 blow hot air out…

Present day: dat historical fan stil per4ms its correctly ordained funxion…albeit in more ignomious surroundings…n in considerable violashun of da noise pollushun regulations in 4ce in da area…

Algoridm 4 fan’s working:

1. Start

2. if (mood is good) then start rotation @ 4 rpm

3. else stop

4. if (has been rotating 4 2 mins) tym 4 a brk, stop

5. if (ambient temperature>30 C) Giv up, stop

6. if

 (ambient temperature < 20 C) protest agenst workplaces condishuns...stop 

7. if

 (musik volume < 100 dB) commens loud noise.. 

8. if (musik volume > 100 dB) commens even louder noise…

9. if (machine has bin kikd) rotate 4 3 seconds then stop.

10. STOP

Da chances of da fan working 4 5 mins witout stopping or making a grinding noise are slimmer dan an Ethiopian peasant on a hunger stryke… My haus has axully bin declared a no-fly zone by da IAF due 2 an alarming tendency displayed by overflying MiG 21 aircraft 2 jus “giv up” after hearing da noise of mah fan… we are axully not allowed 2 throw away our computer as junk bcuz our fan is apparently as ‘historical treasure’ or sumthing lyk dat….

Nex tym, we’ll move hyer up da trobles chain….

Peace, Yo!