heheh...me won a medal 4 cricket....not 4 tennis...

How 2 prove sum1 is4m the "des"...

J. Random Thoughts

hy ppl....
i kno its bin a long tym since i last posted any shit on ze blog...n an even longer since i axully wrote sum shit which was not plagiarized 4m sumwer else...( yah tommy...stop nodding ur hed...i get ur point olredy)...but lets face it....ppl r bizy....
tommyz duin IIT
shankyz duin AIIMs
mankys duin SMU
rethiz duin dope
aprur biye hochey na
ban is duin fashion tek
manobit bal is duin an internship @ northrop grumman
etc etc



so we r all very very bizy ppl.....den y do I hav sooo much free tym? y is it dat i am wryting an utterly useless blog post totally devoid of reezun, purpose and uptil now, humour????



lemme tell u y....cuz d Indian system of education is the single most terrifying machine known to man 2 put knowledge into the heads of the thousands of mindless "students' who go thru it....as such, when dese ppl cum in2 contact with ppl hu hav not gone thru d IIT grind...dey just cannot adjust...the need and desire to study...to do maths....to smell the musty brown pages of Irodov is just too overpowering....

kids from ne oder sytem of education, when they are faced with a 2 week enforced break from studies willingly and happily spend their time doing something else...but the indians just are NOT used 2 NOT studying 4 such an extended amount of tym....sure, we will watch Russell Peters...we will go to evry shopping amll on the planet...but in the end...at nyt..wen evry1 else is sleeping...every closet IIT aspirant is secretly reading JD lee or wateva shit buk they hav,...

note: evry1 is a closet IIT aspirant...no1 is allowed to say that he is a serious IIT aspirant...it s lyk sum sort of unwritten law....
IIT aspirant 1: hi dyud
IIT aspirant 2: watzup?
1: nm...u?
2: its ql...hws studies goin?
1: umm..dey r gud...we duin classical relativity now...
2: hmm..dats quite hard isnt it? so, u trying 4 d IIT?
1: nah..man....its pr8y hard...lets c....u?
2: dunno man...lets c....
normal convo 4 science students in the mother cuntry.....its an open secret dat 1 goes 2 asis sanyal/supriyo ghosh/gautam Das....n 2 takes Fijji/Aakash/Briliant...btu no1 will openly admit that he is aiming 4 the IITs....its lyk admitting that u r studying 4 IIT will mysteriously screw up your chances of getting in2 the world's greatest BTech factory...


It is so hot in singapore.....man...it is so Tshurt drenchingly hot...man i never thot i wud c a HOT kristmas...but yes..I was SWEATING on kristmas day...WTF??? isnt der sum kynd of law made by Jeebus.....thou shalt nawt exercyz thy sweat glands on my holy budday?? wat d hell...d singpur govt shud b fyned or sumthing....

man...that was lyk the randomiest post ever made by man....neways...I gtg now...stay ql..unlyk me...
Peace, Yo!

More Mohan facts

Ever see the Grand Canyon? Manky had nothing to do with it, he just went there once on a family vacation.

The letters in Mohans' name can be rearranged to spell doom in twelve different languages, including Esperanto, but not French.

Unlike most other humans, Mohan can acutally travel through the Internet, exit at your PC, and kick your ass if he wants to.

Mohan once shot a German plane down with his finger by pointing at it and yelling, "Bang!"

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Mohan. Mohan showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

Mohan let the dogs out.

Mohan has caught all 386 pokemon. He says he won't trade any of them for anything.

If you take Mohan and subtract the letters o, h, m, n and a then add the letters j, e, s, u, and s--in that order--you end up with Jesus.

Mohan is the reason Jack is in a box.

Mohan was also born on krypton like superman. But unlike bitch-ass superman, Mohan walked here.

Mohan can make two wrongs make a right.

Mohan floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face.

Mohan removed his funny bone after a tragic meeting were a young black man bumped into is elbow Mohan, feeling a strange tingling sensation, ripped out his funny bone and beat the black man beyond recognition. Micheal Jackson has not and never will recover from this encounter.

When Mohan breaks the law, the law doesn't heal.

Mohan can shoot a man with a knife.

Mohan' computer mouse is a real mouse.

A Mohan roundhouse kick moves at the speed of a Mohan roundhouse kick. Light and sound follow days later, for those still alive who witnessed it.

Some say you are what you eat. Mohan eats babies, but if you ever call him a baby he will roundhouse kick you back to infancy and eat you.

Peace, Yo!

Facts about Mohan

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Mohan can piss his name into concrete.

Mohanz calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Mohan

Mohan once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Mohanz tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Mohan counted to infinity - twice.

Mohan was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Mohan can speak braille.

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Mohanz sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Mohan owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

If you spell Mohan wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Mohan?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Mohan puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

On a high school math test, Mohan put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Mohan solves all his problems with Violence.

Mohan can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Mohan can delete the Recycling Bin.

Superman owns a pair of Mohan pajamas.

Mohan can slam revolving doors.

Giraffes were created when Mohan uppercutted a horse.

Mohan sleeps with a night light. Not because Mohan is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Mohan

Mohan sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Mohan roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Mohan can kill two stones with one bird.

Bill G8s libs in constant fear dan Mohanz PC wil crash

Mohan doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Mohan.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Mohan can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

Mohan can drown a fish.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Mohan and forgot to pay him back.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Mohan could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Mnaky sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with his eyes open, and he looks pissed off.

Circles exist because Mohan beat the crap out of some squares.

All of Mohanz genes are dominant.

Only once has Mohan ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah.

On the sixth day, God said, "let there never be Mohan." On the seventh day, God was in the hospital.

As Mohan approaches zero, zero runs like a little bitch.

Mohan is the SI unit used to measure phear.

Getting murdered by Mohan counts as a natural cause of death.

Mohan irons his shirts while he's wearing them.

Mohan is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.

There is intelligent life in the universe, but they have not contacted Earth because they are avoiding Mohan. They owe him $5.

Mohan can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Peace, Yo!

Lessons in K, Pt 5: Da Kless K

Baba Bitkel told this parable: A traveler, fleeing a tiger who was
chasing him, ran till he came to the edge of a cliff. There he
caught hold of a thick vine, and swung himself over the edge.
Above him the tiger snarled. Below him he heard another snarl, and
behold, there was another tiger, peering up at him. The vine
suspended him midway between two tigers.
Two mice, a white mouse and a black mouse, began to gnaw at the
vine. He could see they were quickly eating it through. Then in
front of him on the cliffside he saw a luscious bunch of grapes.
Holding onto the vine with one hand, he reached and picked a grape
with the other.
How delicious!
Manky hurd it n sed: "Tor ..."
n Baba Bitkel neber told parables agen.

A puzzled kalia once said to Dari: "You say truth can be
expressed without speaking, and without keeping silent. How can
this be?"
Dari answered, "In Southern KLand in the Spring, when I was
only a lad, ah! how birds sang among the blossoms."
Kalia sed: "no 1der ppl dun ask u 4 adbhyc!"
n Kalia was nlytened.

A kStud once asked the master Shanky if he would please
tell him the basic principle of BuddhismK. He did this by asking:
"Why did KMan come out of da kewl skul into da unkewl skul?"
"Wait," said Shanky. "Later, when there is no one around except us
two, I will tell you."
During the day they were alone together several times, and several
times da kStud started to ask his question again, but each time the
master put his fingers to his lips. Finally, da kStud insisted on an
answer. Shanky took him outside.
"There is no one here. Tell me!" said kStud.
Shanky whispered, "These bamboos here are tall. Those bamboos there
are short. That is why Kman came to da unkewl skul!"
n thus, da kStud was nlytened.

A K master named Gamla asked a young student to bring him a pail of water to cool his bath.
The student brought the water and, after cooling the bath, threw on to the ground the little that was left over.
"You dunce!" the master scolded him. "Why didn't you give the rest of the water to the plants? What right have you to waste even a drop of water in this kewl skul?"
The young student attained K in that instant. He changed his name to Tekisui, which means a drop of water.
n da yung stud replied: "dhusala...nijer naam cahnge kor!"
n da Gamla was nlytened.

Dari had studied with KMan since childhood. When he was twenty he wanted to leave his teacher and visit others for comparitive study, but KMan would not permit this. Every time Dari suggested it, KMan would give him a rap on the head.
Finally Dari asked an elder sister to coax permission from KMan. This the sister did and then reported to Dari: "It is arranged. I have fixed it for you to start on your pilgrimage at once."
Dari went to KMan to thank him for his permission. The master answered by giving him another rap.
When Dari related this to his elder sister the other said: "What is the matter? KMan has no business giving premission and then changing his mind. I will tell him so." And off she went to see the teacher.
"I did not cancel my permission," said KMan. "I just wished to give him one last smack over the head, for when he returns he will be enlightened and I will not be able to reprimand him again."
Dari hurd dis n was nlytened...After he came bak, he went 2 see kMan...n sed: " Jodi rap korish, tokey ...". N dari was neber rapped agen.

A K master named Manky lived in the latter part of the Jacky era. He used to say: "There are three kinds of kStuds: those who impart K to others, those who maintain the kewl skuls, and then there are the rice bags and the clothes-hangers."
n thus, da ryc bags wer nlytned...

K masters give personal gidance in a secluded room. No one enters while teacher and pupil are together.
Jimmy, the K master of da kewl sku;, used 2 enjoy talking with merchants and newspapermen as well as with his kSTuds. A certain rodmaker was almost illiterate. He would ask foolish questions of Jimmy, have tea, and then go away.
One day while the rodmaker was there Jimmy wished to give personal guidance to a disciple, so he asked the rodmaker to wait in another room.
"I understand you are a living K," the man protested. "Even the stone kMen in the kewl skul never refuse the numerous persons who come together before them. Why then should I be excluded?"
Jimmy raised an eyebrow n sed: "do u reeeeally wish 2 kno?"
da rodmaker considered....n went away..quickly. He had attained nlytenment.
Peace, Yo!

Lessons in k, Pt 4

THE master Baba Bitkel had a visitor who came to inquire about K. But
instead of listening, the visitor kept talking about his own
ideas.
After a while, Baba Bitkel served tea. He poured tea into his visitor's
cup until it was full, then he kept on pouring.
Finally the visitor could not restrain himself. "Don't you see
it's full?" he said. "You can't get any more in!"
"Just so," replied Babs Bitkel, stopping at last. "And like this cup,
you are filled with your own ideas. How can you expect me to give
you K unless you offer me an empty cup?"
"lyk dis," sed da bhisitor, n he threw da tea on Baba Bitkel's face
n Baba Bitkel was nlytened.

THE MASTER Gamla said: "Neo, the first wheelmaker, made two
wheels. Each had fifty spokes. Suppose you cut out the hubs? Would
there still be a wheel?"
Manky sed: "d00d how many drugs r u on?"
n Gamla was nlytened.

TWO kMasters, Shanky and Baba Bitkel, were walking down a muddy street in
the city. They came on a lovely young girl dressed in fine silks,
who was afraid to cross because of all the mud.
"Come on, girl," said Shanky. And he picked her up in his arms,
and carried her across.
The two kMasters did not speak again till nightfall. Then, when they
had returned to the monastery, Baba Bitkel couldn't keep quiet any
longer.
"kMasters shouldn't go near girls,' he said ; "certainly not
beautiful ones like that one! Why did you do it?"
"My dear fellow," said Shanky. "I put that girl down, way back in
the city. It's you who are still carrying her!"

Once a student asked old Jimmy: "You teach that we must empty our
minds. I have nothing in my mind. Now what shall I do?"
"Throw it out!" said Jimmy.
"But I have nothing. How can I throw it out?"
"If you can't throw it out, carry it out! Drive it out! Empty it
out! But don't stand there in front of me with nothing in your
mind!"
Da kSTud tried 2 protest..seeing dis, Jimmy lifted an eyebrow
n da Kstud was nlytened.

Dari once asked Neo to explain to him the old
problem of the goose in the bottle. "If a man puts a gosling into
the bottle" he said, "and feeds the gosling through the
bottle-neck until it grows and grows and becomes a goose, and then
there just is no more room inside the bottle, how can the man get
it out without killing the goose, or breaking the bottle?"
"Dari!" shouted Neo, and gave a great clap with his hands.
"Yes, master," said the Dari with a start.
"See!" said Neo, "the goose is out!"

Manky said to Kman: "K is a man hanging from a tree over
a cliff. He is holding on to a twig with his teeth. His hands hold
no branch. His feet find no branch. Up on the cliff-edge a man
shouts at him: 'What is K?'
"If he fails to answer he is lost. If he answers, he dies. What
must he do?"
Kman replied: "_|_"
n Manky was nlytened.

A new kewl skul was to be opened, and the master Manky had to
decide which of his kStuds should be put in charge. So he called
the kStuds together, filled a vase with water, and said to them:
"Which one of you can say what this is without giving its name?"
The chief kStud, who expected to be given the new mastership, spoke
first. "It stands upright, it is hollow inside, but it is not a
wooden shoe," he said.
Another kStud said, "It is not a pond, because it can be carried."
Then the cook, lowest of the kStuds, arose. He kicked over the vase
with his foot, so the water ran out on to the floor. He had shown
how to achieve emptiness.
Manky gave him the job, n no1 was hungry in dat kewl skul eber agen.
But Manky neber got da money 4 da broken bhase.
n Manky was nlytened.

HERE is a story the K masters sometimes told: There was an old
woman who was born in the same town as Baba Bitkel, but ever since she
had been a little girl she had been afraid to face him, although
everyone assured her he was a very kd00d. Every time she
thought she might meet him, she ran away. One day she was on the
road which led to town, and she saw approaching a venerable man in
a saffron robe. It was Baba Bitkel. She was terrified. She couldn't
run, but she refused to look. She covered her eyes with her two
hands - but wonder of wonders! the tighter she covered her eyes,
the clearer she saw Baba Bitkel between each of her clenched
fingers. Tell me, who was the old lady?
Baba Bitkel replied: "Hw am i suposed 2 kno?"
Da Kman asked: "y r u getting so defensib?"
n Baba Bitkel knew he was finished...

WHILE Shanky was preaching quietly to his followers, his talk was
interrupted by an unql d00d who believed in miracles, and
thought salvation came from repeating unql words.
Shanky was unable to go on with his talk, and asked the d00d
what he wanted to say.
"The founder of my religion," boasted the d00d, "stood on one
shore of a river with a writing brush in his hand. His disciple
stood on the other shore holding a sheet of paper. And the founder
wrote the holy name of Porashona onto the paper across the river
through the air. Can you do anything so miraculous?"
"No," said Shanky, "I can do only little miracles. Like: when I am
hungry, I eat; when I am thirsty, I drink; when I am insulted, I
forgive."
n da unql d00d was nlytened.

Peace, Yo!