"If you call this a pole," he said, "you deny its eternal life.
If you do not call this a pole, you deny its present fact. Tell
me just what do you propose to call it?"
Kstuds: "Tor ..."
At dis, Kman realised his kStuds had attained nlytenment.
a kstud asked of a kMaster: "A man sits on top of a hundred-foot pole. How can he
go farther up?"
anoda kStud answered: "He should reach for enlightenment. Then he can
stand up into all four corners of the sky at once.
Jimmy was standing nearby. He obserbhed: "do u rly want 2 kno?"
da kStud reflected upon dis, n was nlytened.
Shanky said to one of his kStuds, "Can you get hold of Emptiness?"
"I'll try" said the kStud, and he cupped his hands in the air.
"That's not very good," said Shanky. "You haven't got anything in here!"
"Well, master," said the kStud, "please show me a better way."
Thereupon Shanky seized the kStud's nose and gave it a great yank.
"Ouch!" yelled the kStud. "You hurt me!"
"That's the way to get hold of Emptiness!" said Shanky.
n da kStud was nlytened.
Manky said: "Suppose you meet a K master on the road. You can't
talk to him. You can't stand there silent. What can you do?"
Neo sed: "Whack him one."
n Manky was nlytened.
A famus fyter pylot came to a Kstud and asked: "Master,
tell me: is there really a heaven and a hell?"
"Who are you?" asked the Kstud.
"I am a pylot of the great Su-42."
"Nonsense!" said Hakuin. "What kind of Su-42 would have you
around it? To me you look like a beggar!" At this, the pylot
started to rattle his big sword in anger. "Oho!" said da kstud. "So
you have a sword! I'll wager it's much too dull to cut my head
off!"
At this the pylot could not hold himself back. He drew his sword
and threatened the kstud, who said: "Now you know half the
answer! You are opening the gates of hell!"
The pylot drew back, sheathed his sword, and bowed. "Now you
know the other half," said the kstud. "You have opened the gates
of heaven."
da pylot stud 4 sum tym, contempl8ing. den he sed: "Screw dis."
n he cut off da kstud's hed....
da oder kMasters gathered remrked, da pylot is nlytened."
Dari came to a K master, and said: "I am seeking the
k. In what state of mind should I train myself, so as to find
it?"
Said the master, "There is no mind, so you cannot put it in any
state. There is no k, so you cannot train yourself for it."
"If there is no mind to train, and no k to find, why do you
have these kstuds gather before you every day to study k and
train themselves for this study?"
"But I haven't an inch of room here," said the master, so how
could the kstuds gather? I have no tongue, so how could I call them
together or teach them?"
"Oh, how can you lie like this?" asked Dari. "But if I have no
tongue to talk to others, how can I lie to you?" asked the master.
Then Dari said sadly, "I cannot follow you. I cannot understand
you.
"I cannot understand myself," said the master.
n Dari was nlytened.
Basu said to a kStud, "If I see you have a staff, I will give it to
you. If I see you have no staff, I will take it away from you.
da kStud sed: "mukhey churey debo acid."
n Basu was nlytened.
Little Panchu was only twelve years old. But since he was a pupil at
the K temple, he wanted to be given a Klesson to ponder, just
like the more advanced students. So one evening, at the proper
time, he went to the room of Manky, the master, struck the gong
softly to announce his presence, bowed, and sat before the master
in respectful silence.
Finally the master said: "Panchu, show me the sound of two hands
clapping."
Panchu clapped his hands.
"Good," said the master. "Now show me the sound of one hand
clapping."
Panchu was silent. Finally he bowed and left to consider this
problem.
The next night he returned, and struck the gong with one palm.
"That is not right," said the master. The next night Panchu returned
and played drum music with one hand. "That is not right," said
the master. The next night Panchu returned, and imitated the
dripping of water.
"That is not right," said the master. The next night Panchu
returned, and imitated the cricket scraping his leg. "That is
still not right," said the master.
For ten nights Panchu tried new sounds. At last he stopped coming to
the master. For a year he thought of every sound, and discarded
them all, until fnally he reached enlightenment.
He returned respectfully to the master. Without striking the gong,
he sat down and bowed. "I have heard sound without sound," he
said.
Manky hurd da answer. Slowly he rose n came mear Panchu... n slapped him.
"Dat", he sed, "is da sound of one hand clapping."
n Panchu was truly nlytened.
Kman said to his disciples; "Each of you has a pair of ears,
but what have you ever heard with them? Each of you has a mouth,
but what have you ever said with it? Each of you has eyes, but
what have you ever seen with them? No, no! You have never heard,
never spoken, never seen, never smelled. But in such a case where do all these colors, shapes, sounds,smells, come from?"
Gamla was passing by n he oberhurd da Kman n he sed: "_|_"
n da Kman was nlytened.
The master Gamla showed his wisdom even as a child. Once he broke
the precious heirloom teacup of his teacher, and was greatly
upset. While he was wondering what to do, he heard his teacher
coming. Quickly he hid the pieces of the cup under his robe.
"Master," he said, "why do things die?"
"It is perfectly natural for things to die and for the matter
gathered in them to separate and disintegrate," said the teacher.
"When its time has come every person and every thing must go.
"Master," said little Gamla, showing the pieces, "it was time for
your cup to go.
n da teacup was nlytened...it's w8 decreased.
A kstud came before the master Dari and asked to be helped in
getting rid of his violent temper.
"Show me this temper," said Dari. "It sounds very fascinating."
"I haven't got it right now, so I can't show it to you, said the
student.
"Well then," said Dari,"bring it to me when you have it."
"But I can't bring it just when I happen to have it," protested
the student. "I'd surely lose it again before I got it to you.
"In such a case," said Dari, "it seems to me that this temper is
not part of your true nature. If it is not part of you, it must
come into you from outside. I suggest that whenever it gets into
you, you beat yourself with a stick until the temper can't stand
it, and runs away."
n dis is y no1 asks Dari 4 adbhyc.
A new kStud came up to the master Manky. "I have just entered the
brotherhood and I am anxious to learn the first principle of K,"
he said. "Will you please teach it to me?"
Manky said, "Have you eaten your supper?"
The novice answered, "I have eaten."
Manky said, "Now wash your bowl."
n da kStud was nlytened.
Peace, Yo!
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